Today after Destiny got home from school I had to go to the grocery store and then mail off a care package for Mike, since I was a slacker and didn't do it yesterday. Madison was cranky because ever since Mike redeployed she has refused to take a nap so she was exhausted. Destiny was cranky because she didn't want to go to bed last night and didn't get much sleep and she hates going to the grocery store. Add that together and you get a stressful frustrating shopping trip. Thankfully Andrew slept the whole time and Mj was content since he was just finished with his nap. So in the 20 minutes it took to go shopping for a few things I had to stop at least 15 times to tell them to stop doing this or that or whatever. Unfortunately for daddy his package did not get sent off today, yet again. Sorry honey. By the time I got home I was just mentally worn out. Therefore I decided to go onto Craigs List and search for a part-time babysitter and luckily a SAHM on post just listed an ad for watching kids. She hasn't responded, but I hope she does soon so I can get her to watch 2 of the kids and get all or most of my errands done within a day.
Everytime I get stressed or the kids push me I always wonder if it a test of my patience from God. I pray everyday for patience. Maybe I should stop praying for patience and ask God to stop testing me so much. I have been praying a lot more lately too. I feel closer to God but my relationship with him is not where I want it to be. I have already been saved and baptized, which was amazing, but I still don't feel close. Does that make any sense? I know I love God and I know that Jesus died on the cross for our sins but I still don't know if I really am going to Heaven...any advice?
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Renee- I sometimes feel the same way too. When we are at the grocery store, Bradley will start asking me to buy him toys, and when I tell him no, he will throw a fit, cry and it draws a lot of negative attention to us. Its embarrassing! (thats just one example) I couldn't imagine what it could be like to have more kids doing that at the same time! So you think that you are being "tested". I like to think of it as an "opportunity". That God is giving you an opportunity to be an assertive mother. And an opportunity to be consistant, firm & loving. I'm not always perfect, because I struggle with the consistancy at times, but I do try my best. When you look back at the way you handle situations with your kids, you may feel good knowing, that you took every opportunity to be your best, for them. Hope this advice helps. :)
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