Memories

I have been thinking a lot about the past and focusing on all the good times I had when I was growing up. A lot of those memories involved my grandfather, Andy. My pop pop died in 2003 at the age of 56, way too soon. He was such a great person. He loved his family so much, he would do anything for them. After all this time I still feel sad about his death. I have grieved and time has helped so much but I don't think I can ever be over it. I can still remember his smile and remember his laugh but I can not remember the way his voice sounded. I can not find any videos with him whatsoever and it is driving me insane.
I was pop pop's little girl growing up. I could of killed someone and he would of come up with some excuse for it and I would of gotten off, lol. I remember one time when I was maybe 6-7 and I had taken $20 from my mom's purse before going to his house. Later at his house my mom had found out and my grandfather told my mom that I didn't steal it, I was just holding it for her :)
I am really glad he got to meet Destiny(pic above). He died when she was 9 months old. I wish he could of the met the rest of his great grandkids. So far he has 5 with the newest addition being Ryleigh Ann, my cousins baby girl. She was born 2 days ago :) We named our son, Andrew, after him and plan on calling him Andy for short. He would of loved to see them and they would of equally loved him.
I wholeheartedly believe that everything happens for a reason, even if it is bad and ugly. However, I am still trying to find the reason as to why he died so young. It shouldn't of happened.
He had this poodle named Boomer. Boomer could be so mean...lol. If the kids fought in front of him he would flip out and if pop pop said the word "bath" around him he would get so mad...lol After pop pop died we thought that Boomer we go shortly after because they were so close. My Aunt Dawn ended up taking in Boomer who was like a million years old in dog years. We were so surprised that he lived for so long. He passed away last year and is now in doggy heaven :)
One of the many reasons why I want to move back to Maryland is because I want our kids to have the same relationship with their grandparents that I had with my grandfather. I miss my family and time is precious and we don't know how much time we truly have here on Earth. On the other hand it is so selfish of me. What about my husbands family? They live in Colorado and in California and he should be able to spend as much time with them as possible. Why does it have to be so complicated? I wish everyone could just move to Texas lol So if we never move to one of those states our kids will not have a close relationship with our family and that makes me feel so bad because they are truly missing something. So I guess the ultimate question is what do we do?

(Sorry this is so disorganized, I have so many thoughts and just need to get them out)